Quote

Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Funny
Bridge
Also
Bridges
Men
Husband
Boys
Game
Comedy
Separates
Wife
Husbands
Games
Wives

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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
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Life's but a day at most.
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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I get a standing ovation just standing
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