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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Aging
Anywhere
Age
Good

More quotes by George Burns

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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns