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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Good
Aging
Anywhere
Age

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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns