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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Aging
Anywhere
Age
Good
More quotes by George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
George Burns
When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
George Burns
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
