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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Funny
Ever
Everything
Sick
Already
More quotes by George Burns
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns
I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
George Burns
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
