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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Hear
Rather
Funny
Whisk
Music
Whisky
Would
Scotch
Love
Whiskey
People
Sing
Drink

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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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