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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Age
Senile
Funny
Fifties
Young
Rugged
Things
Labeled
Eccentric
Considered
Saying
Called
Individualist
More quotes by George Burns
As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns