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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Like
Backache
Rays
Laughing
Relationship
Show
Doesn
Shows
Love
More quotes by George Burns
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
George Burns
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
