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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Rays
Laughing
Relationship
Show
Doesn
Shows
Love
Like
Backache
More quotes by George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns