Quote

Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Shows
Love
Like
Backache
Rays
Laughing
Relationship
Show
Doesn

More quotes by George Burns

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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns