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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
World
Rest
Philanthropic
Turn
Philanthropy
Stop
Volunteer
Turns
Teamwork
Light
Lights
Giving
Offering
Something
Charity
Time
Inspiring

More quotes by George Burns

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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns