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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Elders
Brought
Anybody
Respect
More quotes by George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
George Burns
My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns
When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns