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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Elders
Brought
Anybody
Respect

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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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Life's but a day at most.
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