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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Elders
Brought
Anybody
Respect

More quotes by George Burns

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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns