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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Think
Humorist
Thinking
Humorists
Comedian
Laugh
Laughing
Makes
Someone
More quotes by George Burns
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
Life's but a day at most.
George Burns
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
