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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Think
Thinking
Humorist
Humorists
Comedian
Laugh
Laughing
Makes
Someone
More quotes by George Burns
How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
George Burns
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns
As long as you're working, you stay young.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
