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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Think
Thinking
Humorist
Humorists
Comedian
Laugh
Laughing
Makes
Someone
More quotes by George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
George Burns
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
