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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Makes
Someone
Think
Thinking
Humorist
Humorists
Comedian
Laugh
Laughing
More quotes by George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
Life's but a day at most.
George Burns
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
George Burns
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
George Burns
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
