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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Understand
History
Flunked
Kids
Humorous
Littles
Humor
Little
Age
American
Funny

More quotes by George Burns

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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
George Burns
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
George Burns
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
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I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns