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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
History
Kids
Flunked
Littles
Humorous
Little
Humor
Age
American
Funny
Understand

More quotes by George Burns

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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns