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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Comedy
Written
Guy
Read
Two
Book
Sixth
More quotes by George Burns
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
George Burns
Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
George Burns
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
