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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Written
Guy
Read
Two
Book
Sixth
Comedy

More quotes by George Burns

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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
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At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
George Burns
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns