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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Sixth
Comedy
Written
Guy
Read
Two
Book

More quotes by George Burns

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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns