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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Book
Sixth
Comedy
Written
Guy
Read
Two
More quotes by George Burns
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
George Burns
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
George Burns
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns