Quote

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Something
Smoking
Smoke
Ten
Humor
Hold
Comedy
Cigars
Age
Cigar
Funny
Fifteen

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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
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