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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Smoke
Ten
Humor
Hold
Comedy
Cigars
Age
Cigar
Funny
Fifteen
Something
Smoking
More quotes by George Burns
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
