Quote

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Something
Smoking
Smoke
Ten
Humor
Hold
Comedy
Cigars
Age
Cigar
Funny
Fifteen

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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
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