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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Ten
Humor
Hold
Comedy
Cigars
Age
Cigar
Funny
Fifteen
Something
Smoking
Smoke
More quotes by George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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