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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Smoke
Ten
Humor
Hold
Comedy
Cigars
Age
Cigar
Funny
Fifteen
Something
Smoking
More quotes by George Burns
My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
George Burns
None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
