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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Lose
Loses
Dies
Funny
Money
Much
Afford
Humor

More quotes by George Burns

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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
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At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns