Quote

I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.

George Burns

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Funny
Money
Much
Afford
Humor
Lose
Loses
Dies

More quotes by George Burns

Image
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
Image
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
Image
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
Image
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
Image
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
Image
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
Image
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
Image
If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
Image
As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
Image
My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
Image
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
Image
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
Image
None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
Image
How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
Image
When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
Image
Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
Image
I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
Image
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
Image
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
Image
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns