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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Money
Much
Afford
Humor
Lose
Loses
Dies
Funny

More quotes by George Burns

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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
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At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
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I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
George Burns
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
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When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns