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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Much
Afford
Humor
Lose
Loses
Dies
Funny
Money

More quotes by George Burns

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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
George Burns
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
George Burns
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
George Burns
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns