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At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Humor
Age
Funny
Springtime
Scare
Birthday
Aging
Flowers
Flower
More quotes by George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
George Burns
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
