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At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Aging
Flowers
Flower
Humor
Age
Funny
Springtime
Scare
Birthday
More quotes by George Burns
Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
George Burns
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
