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At my age flowers scare me.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Scare
Birthday
Aging
Flowers
Flower
Humor
Age
Funny
Springtime

More quotes by George Burns

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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
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How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
George Burns
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns