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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Nice
Age
Funny
Cute
Birthday
Aging
Humorous
Anywhere
More quotes by George Burns
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
