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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
People
Hair
Comedy
Politics
Funny
Business
Driving
Inspirational
Busy
Running
Cutting
Country
Humor
More quotes by George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
George Burns
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
George Burns
