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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Country
Humor
People
Hair
Comedy
Politics
Funny
Business
Driving
Inspirational
Busy
Running
Cutting
More quotes by George Burns
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns
How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
Life's but a day at most.
George Burns
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
George Burns
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
George Burns
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
