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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Running
Cutting
Country
Humor
People
Hair
Comedy
Politics
Funny
Business
Driving
Inspirational
Busy
More quotes by George Burns
Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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I get a standing ovation just standing
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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