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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Business
Driving
Inspirational
Busy
Running
Cutting
Country
Humor
People
Hair
Comedy
Politics
Funny

More quotes by George Burns

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At my age flowers scare me.
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
George Burns
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns