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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Wonder
Stoops
Getting
Hilarious
Funny
Retired
Else
Retiring
Retirement
Ties
Aging
Shoelaces
Humor
Stoop
More quotes by George Burns
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
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Life's but a day at most.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns
