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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
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Pull
Firsts
Finally
First
Humor
Comedy
Names
Forget
Zipper
Faces
Zippers
Funny
Birthday

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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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I get a standing ovation just standing
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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