Quote

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

George Burns

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
First
Humor
Comedy
Names
Forget
Zipper
Faces
Zippers
Funny
Birthday
Next
Pull
Firsts
Finally

More quotes by George Burns

Image
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
Image
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
Image
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
Image
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
Image
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
Image
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
Image
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
Image
Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns
Image
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
Image
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
Image
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
Image
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
Image
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
Image
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
Image
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
Image
When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
Image
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
Image
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
Image
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
Image
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns