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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Drunk
Thirteenth
Clever
Drunkards
Drinking
Cocktails
Drink
Drunkenness
Trouble
Alcoholism
Takes
Liquor
Remember
Drank
Alcohol
Fourteenth

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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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