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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Make
Bed
Life
Unless
Stay
Funny
Business
Inspirational
Money
Inaction
Work
Humorous
More quotes by George Burns
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
George Burns
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns
