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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Business
Inspirational
Money
Inaction
Work
Humorous
Make
Bed
Life
Unless
Stay
Funny

More quotes by George Burns

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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns