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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Inspirational
Money
Inaction
Work
Humorous
Make
Bed
Life
Unless
Stay
Funny
Business
More quotes by George Burns
A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
George Burns
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
