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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Life
Unless
Stay
Funny
Business
Inspirational
Money
Inaction
Work
Humorous
Make
Bed
More quotes by George Burns
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
