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If you have to be burned at the stake, be a good fellow and collect your own fire-wood.

George Ade

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George Ade
Age: 78 †
Born: 1866
Born: February 7
Died: 1944
Died: May 16
Film Director
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Reporter
Screenwriter
Writer
Kentland
Indiana
Fellow
Woods
Fellows
Fire
Collect
Good
Stake
Wood
Stakes
Burned

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Always interline a contract before signing it, merely to impress the Party of the First Part. The one who puts his signature to Articles of Agreement drawn up by the other fellow is establishing a dangerous precedent.
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Familiarity breeds contentment.
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The time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking.
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Never pretend to have money except when you are in straits. The poor man who pretends to have a bank account betters his credit and takes no risk. But the prosperous individual who counts his money in the street, forthwith will be invited to attend a charity bazaar.
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Every Man is the Architect of his own Fortunes, but the Neighbours superintend the Construction.
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A good jolly is worth what you pay for it.
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A lot of smart young people have come out of Indiana. The smarter they are, the faster they come out
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Those having the most time to devote to a line of endeavor usually become the most proficient.
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The only city people are those born so.
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Moral: Don't try to Account for Anything.
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Only the more Rugged Mortals should attempt to Keep Up on Current Literature.
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If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.
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The first sign of extravagance is to buy trousers that one does not need.
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In uplifting, get underneath.
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A rolling stone gathers no moss and therefore will not be derided as a moss-back. Roll as much as possible.
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In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.
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Where ignorance is not bliss, get wise!
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A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but would not cost half as much during the winter months.
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Moral: It all depends.
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For parlor use, the vague generality is a life saver.
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