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If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.

George Ade

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George Ade
Age: 78 †
Born: 1866
Born: February 7
Died: 1944
Died: May 16
Film Director
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Reporter
Screenwriter
Writer
Kentland
Indiana
Presents
Marriage
Would
Preferable

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Never pretend to have money except when you are in straits. The poor man who pretends to have a bank account betters his credit and takes no risk. But the prosperous individual who counts his money in the street, forthwith will be invited to attend a charity bazaar.
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A rolling stone gathers no moss and therefore will not be derided as a moss-back. Roll as much as possible.
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Moral: It all depends.
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A good jolly is worth what you pay for it.
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Only the more Rugged Mortals should attempt to Keep Up on Current Literature.
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It is not time for mirth and laughter, the cold, gray dawn of the morning after.
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Moral: Don't try to Account for Anything.
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A man never feels more important than when he receives a telegram containing more than ten words.
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After being Turned Down by numerous Publishers, he had decided to write for Posterity.
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Always interline a contract before signing it, merely to impress the Party of the First Part. The one who puts his signature to Articles of Agreement drawn up by the other fellow is establishing a dangerous precedent.
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The wealthy have nothing left except money.
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The shorter the hours, the larger the income. Don't get into the habit of putting in long hours or you may be set down into a permanent subordinate position.
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In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.
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A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but would not cost half as much during the winter months.
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In uplifting, get underneath.
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The time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking.
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If a man does not go about his work with enthusiasm, it means that he has not yet found a work that he likes. Every mortal is a busy bee when he comes to the task that Destiny has set aside for him.
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Those having the most time to devote to a line of endeavor usually become the most proficient.
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Familiarity breeds contentment.
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Give the people what they think they want.
George Ade