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If you try to lose weight by shaming, depriving and fearing yourself, you will end up shamed, deprived, and afraid. Kindness comes first. Always.

Geneen Roth

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Geneen Roth
Loses
Shamed
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It's not life in the present moment that is intolerable the pain we are avoiding has already happened. We are living in reverse.
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Bingeing is such an emotionally frenetic activity that no other concerns can exist in the same space. It is a hell that people who are food-sensitive are familiar with and, because it is known, it is therefore not so terrifying as some of the problems that are outside our control. Problems like divorce, illness, death.
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The problem with fantasy is the greatest benefit of fantasy: it prevents us from living in the present moment.
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You cannot spend your life wanting to be someone else, snipping off pieces of yourself you don't like, and suddenly expect, upon reaching a goal, to be confident, self-accepting, rooted like an oak tree in your being.
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You will never stop wanting more until you allow yourself to have what you already have. To take it in. Savor it. Now is a good time to do that . . .
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No matter how developed you are in any other area of your life, no matter what you say you believe, no matter how sophisticated or enlightened you think you are, how you eat tells all.
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Meditation is a tool to shake yourself awake. A way to discover what you love. A practice to return yourself to your body when the mind medleys threaten to usurp your sanity.
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For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe we will end up being kind. If we shame ourselves, we believe we end up loving ourselves. It has never been true, not for a moment, that shame leads to love. Only love leads to love.
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Meditation develops the capacity to question your mind. Without it, you are at the mercy of every thought, every desire, every wave of emotion.
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Hell is wanting to be somewhere different from where you are.
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Imagine not being frightened by any feeling. Imagine knowing that nothing will destroy you. That you are beyond any feeling, and state. Bigger than. Vaster than. That there is no reason to use drugs because anything a drug could do would pale in comparison to knowing who you are.
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We need to build our friendships on truth and wholeness. We need friends who can be with us in our loneliness, not people who will cheer us up so that we don’t feel it. We need friends who get furious with us when we are not being real or true to ourselves, not when we don’t do what they want us to do.
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It matters whether you see yourself as someone who is capable of effecting change or whether you see yourself as someone whose voice does not count. It matters whether you treat yourself with reverence or with carelessness. Every bit of work you do on yourself matters. Every time you choose love, it matters.
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We eat the way we eat because we are afraid to feel what we feel.
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And.. are you willing to go all the way? To understand that food is only a stand-in for love and possibility and spirit? Because if you aren't, you will get caught up in gaining and losing weight for the rest of your life. But if you are willing, then the portal to what you say you want is truly on your plate.
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The relentless attempts to be thin take you further and further away from what could actually end your suffering: getting back in touch with who you really are. Your true nature. Your essence.
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When you don't want to be where you are, you create suffering for yourself. Change happens through acceptance, kindness and relaxation--not resistance, not warfare, not fights.
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There have been many articles about the top regrets that people have when they're dying. They are always, I missed the ordinary moments. We miss those ordinary moments, and yet, that's what we're trying to distract ourselves from at the same time.
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Real change happens bit by bit. It takes great effort to become effortless at anything. There are no quick fixes.
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Its not so much that we believe what we see, but that we see what we believe
Geneen Roth