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Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world--an assigned parking space.

Gene Perret

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Gene Perret
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He has a brain like Einstein's - dead since 1955
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When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.
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My granddaughter and I are inseparable. She keeps me wrapped around her little finger.
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Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever.
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Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it.
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My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel.
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On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.
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An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.
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Leisure: A fancy word for people who don't want to admit they're bored.
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I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.
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Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
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Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.
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Two things I dislike about my granddaughter - when she won't take her afternoon nap, and when she won't let me take mine.
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I always give my grandkids a couple of quarters when they go home. It's a bargain.
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Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS.
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I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense.
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I like to do nice things for my grandchildren - like buy them those toys I've always wanted to play with.
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What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure.
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Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space.
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You're more trouble than the children are is the greatest compliment a grandparent can receive.
Gene Perret