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I never saw a purple cow I never hope to see one But I can tell you, anyhow, I'd rather see than be one.

Gelett Burgess

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Gelett Burgess
Age: 85 †
Born: 1866
Born: January 30
Died: 1951
Died: September 18
Novelist
Poet
Boston
Massachusetts
Frank Gelett Burgess
Alan Braghampton
Fun
Rather
Hope
Tell
Never
Anyhow
Purple
Cows
Saws

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Propose not to a woman when she hath gotten a new frock, nor when she is puffed up with victories when she reigneth and rejoiceth in her hour of triumph, come not nigh unto her but when she be ill or weary, when she is cast down in spirit and needeth a comforter, then be thou ready, and make thy suit.
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Thinking a smile all the time will keep your face youthful.
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If in the last few years you have not discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.
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Every person has some splendid traits and if we confine our contacts so as to bring those traits into action, there is no need of ever being bored or irritated or indignant.
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No man knoweth how another man maketh his love, for women tell not.
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The fear of women is the beginning of knowledge.
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A good woman would rather be the mother of a genius than the wife of a hero
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Some women are to be captured by storm and some taken by siege yet if there be not a traitor in her heart that shall deliver up the garrison, thou shalt not prevail over her.
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Imagination is like a lofty building reared to meet the sky whereas fancy is a balloon that soars at the wind's will.
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When the waitress puts the dinner on the table, the old men look at the dinner. The young men look at the waitress.
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If thou makest a statement concerning women, lo, she shall immediately try to disprove it straightway. She goeth by contraries.
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Style is doing things not in any way but in the best way.
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Seek one woman whom thou canst trust, and to her who lovest thee best, tell thy secrets. She will deliver thee from the hands of strange women, she will expose their craft and of her who flattereth thee, will she make known the reason.
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Without bigots, eccentrics, cranks and heretics the world would not progress.
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It was Matisse who took the first step into the undiscovered land of the ugly.
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As the dog becomes thoroughbred in the laws of clan and caste obedient, fraternal and loyal so is the man who accepts the gentleman's code.
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A maiden's first kiss cometh hard, yea, it is as the first olive out of a bottle, requiring much skill but the rest are easy.
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Many a maid have I won by a quarrel, when flattery was in no wise helpful but take heed that thou art in the wrong, so that thou mayest acknowledge thine error.
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Most women have all other women as adversaries most men have all other men as their allies.
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Maxims are like lawyers who must need to see but one side of the case.
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