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I never saw a purple cow I never hope to see one But I can tell you, anyhow, I'd rather see than be one.

Gelett Burgess

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Gelett Burgess
Age: 85 †
Born: 1866
Born: January 30
Died: 1951
Died: September 18
Novelist
Poet
Boston
Massachusetts
Frank Gelett Burgess
Alan Braghampton
Purple
Cows
Saws
Fun
Rather
Hope
Tell
Never
Anyhow

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A good woman would rather be the mother of a genius than the wife of a hero
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Every person has some splendid traits and if we confine our contacts so as to bring those traits into action, there is no need of ever being bored or irritated or indignant.
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As the cat lapses into savagery by night, and barbarously explores the dark, so primal and titanic is a woman with the love madness.
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There is indeed no such thing in life as absolute darkness one's eyes revolt and hasten to fill the vacuum by floating in sparks, dream patterns, figures whimsical and figures grotesque, shifting and clad in complementary colors, to appease the indignant cups and rods of the retina.
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No man knoweth how another man maketh his love, for women tell not.
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Without bigots, eccentrics, cranks and heretics the world would not progress.
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Seek one woman whom thou canst trust, and to her who lovest thee best, tell thy secrets. She will deliver thee from the hands of strange women, she will expose their craft and of her who flattereth thee, will she make known the reason.
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Woo her not till thou hast seen her mother, for a score of years worketh wonders.
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A woman and a mouse, they carry a tale wherever they go.
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Son, heed my instruction, and apply thyself to know women let thine eyes observe her when she is with another, for what she doeth with him, she will do with thee, also.
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The fear of women is the beginning of knowledge.
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If thou makest a statement concerning women, lo, she shall immediately try to disprove it straightway. She goeth by contraries.
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Can a woman entertain a man and a pet at the same time? I say unto thee, one of the twain shall suffer jealousy.
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Propose not to a woman when she hath gotten a new frock, nor when she is puffed up with victories when she reigneth and rejoiceth in her hour of triumph, come not nigh unto her but when she be ill or weary, when she is cast down in spirit and needeth a comforter, then be thou ready, and make thy suit.
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Many a maid have I won by a quarrel, when flattery was in no wise helpful but take heed that thou art in the wrong, so that thou mayest acknowledge thine error.
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Repeat not the manner of a flirtation for lo, all the world shall hear of it, and women will taunt thee.
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Maxims are like lawyers who must need to see but one side of the case.
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Some women are to be captured by storm and some taken by siege yet if there be not a traitor in her heart that shall deliver up the garrison, thou shalt not prevail over her.
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A wedding in haste is worth two at leisure.
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It was Matisse who took the first step into the undiscovered land of the ugly.
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