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I'm so tired of missing things I don't have.

Gayle Forman

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Gayle Forman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 5
Writer
LA
California
Tired
Missing
Things

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A thousand suns rise from my chest.
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This is myself, baby. All of my selves. I own each and every one of them. I know who I'm pretending to be and who I am. The look he gives me is withering. Do you?
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Because if time can be fluid, then maybe something that is just one day can go on indefinitely
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Needle and thread flesh and bone Spit and sinew, heartbreak is home. Your suture lines, they sparkle like diamonds Bright stars to light my confinement Stitch.
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I know that all the magic kisses in the world probably couldn't have helped him today. But I would do anything to have been able to give him one.
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I realize it’s not just Willem I’m looking for it’s Lulu too.
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Then I smell the sweat on him, a clean musky scent that I'd bottle and wear as perfume if I could.
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I think you're the sort of person who finds money on the ground and waves it in the air and asks if anyone has lost it. I think you cry in movies that aren't even sad because you have a soft heart, though you don't let it show. I think you do things that scare you, and that makes you braver than those adrenaline junkies who bungee-jump off bridges.
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But I also know that sometimes Adam needs to do things the dramatic way. He is fond of the Grand Gesture
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Willem holds my wrist for a long moment, looking at that birthmark. Then he lifts it to his mouth. And though his lips are soft and his kiss is gentle, it feels like a knife jamming into the electrical socket. It feels like the moment when I go live
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So are you moving on now? Is that what brought you to the grand metropolis of Valladolid?” “No. The wind just blew me here.” “What? Like a plastic bag?” “I prefer to think of myself as a ship. Like a sailboat.
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Willem, I suspect deep down you know exactly why you're here, exactly what you want, but you're unwilling to the wanting, let alone the having. Because both of those propositions are terrifying.
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Travelling is like a talent, like whistling or dancing. And some people have it.
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I think everything is happening all the time, but if you don't put yourself in the path of it, you miss it. When you travel, you put yourself out there. It's not always great. Sometimes it's terrible. But other times ... [...] It's not so bad.
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The truth and its opposite are flip sides of the same coin.
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I'm also starting to wonder something else. If maybe the point of this crazy quest I'm on wasn't to help me find Willem. Maybe it was to help me find someone else entirely.
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Doubt is part of searching. Same as faith.
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By that point, it’ll have been more than year since I met Lulu. Any sane person would say it’s too late. It already felt too late that first day, when I woke up in the hospital. But even so, I’ve kept looking. I’m still looking.
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It feels like the city is telling secrets down here, privy only to those who think to listen.
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Love can make you immortal
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