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Okay, maybe this was the meant to be: the universe I knew, loved nothing more than balance.
Gayle Forman
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Gayle Forman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 5
Writer
LA
California
Balance
Loved
Knew
Maybe
Universe
Nothing
Meant
Okay
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She's still beautiful. Not in an obvious Vanessa LeGrande or Byrn Shraeder kind of way. In a quiet way that's always been devastating to me.
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But I'd do it again. I know that now. I'd make that promise a thousand times over and lose her a thousand times over to have heard her play last night or to see her in the morning sunlight. Or even without that. Just to know that she's somewhere out there. Alive.
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The politeness was painful. I wanted to push through it, to return to the glow of the night of the concert, but I was unsure of how to get back there.
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All relationships are tough. Just like with music, sometimes you have harmony and other times you have cacophony.
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I have a feeling that once you live through something like this, you become a little bit invincible.
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I want to ask him where that kitchen is. Where he's from. But he seems guarded. Or maybe it's me. Maybe making friends is a specific skill, and I missed the lesson.
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I'm not sure this is a world I belong in anymore. I'm not sure that I want to wake up.
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I’ve been feeling something else. Like I’m about to be sucked into something powerful and painful.
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A day might just be twenty-four hours but sometimes getting through one seems as impossible as scaling Everest.
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Sleep would be so welcome. A warm blanket of black to erase everything else. Sleep without dreams. I've heard people talk about the sleep of the dead. Is that what death would feel like? The nicest, warmest, heaviest never-ending nap? If that's what it's like, I wouldn't mind. If that's what dying is like, I wouldn't mind that at all.
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I needed to hate someone and you’re the one I love the most, so it fell on you.
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And that's just it, isn't it? That's how we manage to survive the loss. Because love, it never dies, it never goes away, it never fades, so long as you hang on to it.
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Doubt is part of searching. Same as faith.
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This is myself, baby. All of my selves. I own each and every one of them. I know who I'm pretending to be and who I am. The look he gives me is withering. Do you?
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