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This is myself, baby. All of my selves. I own each and every one of them. I know who I'm pretending to be and who I am. The look he gives me is withering. Do you?

Gayle Forman

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Gayle Forman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 5
Writer
LA
California
Look
Self
Looks
Giving
Withering
Every
Selves
Pretending
Baby
Gives

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A thousand suns rise from my chest.
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Forward momentum. That's my new motto. No regrets. And no going back.
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What would you do if you had to choose?
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Needle and thread flesh and bone Spit and sinew, heartbreak is home. Your suture lines, they sparkle like diamonds Bright stars to light my confinement Stitch.
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If these walls could talk, I wonder what secrets they'd tell.
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I want to ask him where that kitchen is. Where he's from. But he seems guarded. Or maybe it's me. Maybe making friends is a specific skill, and I missed the lesson.
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Obey the muse, Liz said. She's a fickle mistress.
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How can it be so unclear to her when it's like the fingers on my hand to me?
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But then Mason touches my neck, to the spot on it where the cut from that night has since healed, and I pull away. He was right, after all it didn't leave a scar, though part of me wishes it had. At least I'd have some evidence, some justification of this permanence. Stains are even worse when you're the only one who can see them.
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There’s a difference between losing something you knew you had and losing something you discovered you had. One is a disappointment. The other feels like losing a piece of yourself.
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Letting go. Everyone talks about it like it's the easiest thing. Unfurl your fingers one by one until your hand is open.
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It feels like the city is telling secrets down here, privy only to those who think to listen.
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My stomach lurched, an appetizer before the full portion of heartache I had a feeling was going to be served at some point soon.
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And our lips. There isn't enough skin, enough spit, enough time, for the lost years that our lips are trying to make up for as they find each other. We kiss. The electric current switches to high. The lights throughout all of Brooklyn must be surging.
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