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I’ve been feeling something else. Like I’m about to be sucked into something powerful and painful.

Gayle Forman

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Gayle Forman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 5
Writer
LA
California
Painful
Feeling
Powerful
Feelings
Else
Something
Like
Sucked

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There were signs. Probably more of them than I ever caught, even after the fact. But I missed them all. Maybe because I wasn’t looking for them. I was too busy checking over my shoulder at the fire I’d just come through to pay much attention to the thousand-foot cliff looming in front of me.
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I realize then that it's not enough to know what someone is called. You have to know who they are.
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But I'd do it again. I know that now. I'd make that promise a thousand times over and lose her a thousand times over to have heard her play last night or to see her in the morning sunlight. Or even without that. Just to know that she's somewhere out there. Alive.
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But then Mason touches my neck, to the spot on it where the cut from that night has since healed, and I pull away. He was right, after all it didn't leave a scar, though part of me wishes it had. At least I'd have some evidence, some justification of this permanence. Stains are even worse when you're the only one who can see them.
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It's nice, this. The canal. He looks at me. You. I'll bet you say that to all the canals.
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Because if time can be fluid, then maybe something that is just one day can go on indefinitely
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You stood over me and you made a promise to me, as sacred as any vow. And I can understand why you're angry, but you can't blame me. You can't hate me for taking your word.
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