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I've become to realize there's a world of difference between knowing something happened, even knowing why it happened, and believing it.

Gayle Forman

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Gayle Forman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 5
Writer
LA
California
Something
Difference
Believe
Realize
Life
Realizing
World
Differences
Knowing
Happened
Become
Even
Believing

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If I stay. If I live. It’s up to me. All this business about medically induced comas is just doctor talk. It’s not up to the doctors. It’s not up to the absentee angels. It’s not even up to God who, if He exists, is nowhere around right now. It’s up to me.
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And our lips. There isn't enough skin, enough spit, enough time, for the lost years that our lips are trying to make up for as they find each other. We kiss. The electric current switches to high. The lights throughout all of Brooklyn must be surging.
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But I'd do it again. I know that now. I'd make that promise a thousand times over and lose her a thousand times over to have heard her play last night or to see her in the morning sunlight. Or even without that. Just to know that she's somewhere out there. Alive.
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Or maybe it's not a miracle. Maybe this is just life. When you open yourself up to it. When you put yourself in the path of it. When you say yes.
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It's just accidental, just temporary. Until the next accident sends me somewhere new. That's how life works.
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I needed to hate someone and you’re the one I love the most, so it fell on you.
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It feels like the city is telling secrets down here, privy only to those who think to listen.
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In the middle of L.A.'s sunny non-winter, I need to sit in a dark closet to feel right.
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In the calculus of feelings, you never really know how one person's absence will affect you more than another's.
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Something given, something taken away. Does it always have to work like that?
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But then Mason touches my neck, to the spot on it where the cut from that night has since healed, and I pull away. He was right, after all it didn't leave a scar, though part of me wishes it had. At least I'd have some evidence, some justification of this permanence. Stains are even worse when you're the only one who can see them.
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He can't possibly live up to the person you've built him to be
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I’ve been feeling something else. Like I’m about to be sucked into something powerful and painful.
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There were signs. Probably more of them than I ever caught, even after the fact. But I missed them all. Maybe because I wasn’t looking for them. I was too busy checking over my shoulder at the fire I’d just come through to pay much attention to the thousand-foot cliff looming in front of me.
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I'm so tired of missing things I don't have.
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What would you do if you had to choose?
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I want to make her cry and then lick up the tears.
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I want to undo this. To make it right. But I have no idea how. I don't seem to know how to open up to people without getting the door slammed in my face. So I do nothing.
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There are like twenty people in that waiting room right now. Some of them are related to you. Some of them are not. But we're all your family.' She stops now. Leans over me so that the wisps of her hair tickle my face. She kisses me on the forehead. 'You still have a family,' she whispers.
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Whoever said that the past isn't dead had it backward. It's the future that's already dead, already played out.
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