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Someone wake me when it's over When the evening silence softens golden Just lay me on bed of dover Oh, I need help with this burden Hush
Gayle Forman
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Gayle Forman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 5
Writer
LA
California
Needs
Golden
Burden
Bed
Dover
Silence
Softens
Help
Hush
Helping
Evening
Someone
Lays
Need
Wake
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And that's when I understand that I have been stained. Whether I'm still in love with him, whether he was ever in love with me, and no matter who he's in love with now, Willem changed my life. He showed me how to get lost, and then I showed myself how to get found.
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Sleep would be so welcome. A warm blanket of black to erase everything else. Sleep without dreams. I've heard people talk about the sleep of the dead. Is that what death would feel like? The nicest, warmest, heaviest never-ending nap? If that's what it's like, I wouldn't mind. If that's what dying is like, I wouldn't mind that at all.
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But then Mason touches my neck, to the spot on it where the cut from that night has since healed, and I pull away. He was right, after all it didn't leave a scar, though part of me wishes it had. At least I'd have some evidence, some justification of this permanence. Stains are even worse when you're the only one who can see them.
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I've become to realize there's a world of difference between knowing something happened, even knowing why it happened, and believing it.
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I want to undo this. To make it right. But I have no idea how. I don't seem to know how to open up to people without getting the door slammed in my face. So I do nothing.
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It takes certain kind of naiveté, or perhaps just stupidity, to know things will end and still hope otherwise.
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And our lips. There isn't enough skin, enough spit, enough time, for the lost years that our lips are trying to make up for as they find each other. We kiss. The electric current switches to high. The lights throughout all of Brooklyn must be surging.
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